Monday, June 30, 2008
Tell advertisers to check out SocialSpark!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Here is the-NEW! Dirt Devil® AccuCharge
Transformer-Tastic
Friday, June 27, 2008
NEW! Dirt Devil® AccuCharge
History's Mysteries
NO OVERPOWERING
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
I Signed up for SocialSpark!
SocialSpark is Great for Mommy Bloggers
Thursday, June 26, 2008
DISCLOSOURE
Monday, June 23, 2008
How to kill a lion?
Rajnikanth method :
1. keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. the lion
will live in fear and die soon fear itself.
2.remove the make-up and put it over lion. the lion will die not
withstanding that heavy weight.
Kamal method:
1.gonear the lion and cry like anything ...lion will die of sorrow.
Manirathnam method:
1.make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark
room with a single candle lighted.
2.keep murmuring something in its ears. the lion will be highly
irritated and commit suicide.
Balachandar method:
1.send a lioness into the forest.our lion and lioness fall in love with
each other.
2.send another lioness in to the forest,followed by another lion.
3.first lion loves the first lioness and second lion loves the
second lioness,but 2nd lioness loves both the lions.
4.now send another lioness(3rd)into the forest.
5.you understand right.... ok ...read it
after 15 years,then also you wont!
Shankar method:
1.Take the lion to Australia or U.s.and kill it in a good scenic location.
Vijaykanth method:
* bring 5 more lions.fight with them and kill all of them except one.
* then advice some patriotism to the remaining one.
* this lion will surrender itself and then execute it.
Suggest your meathod of killing the lion.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Jokes
A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog.
When the dog is about to bite the woman, the man
intervenes and kicks the dog.
A reporter was seeing all this.
He said "That was great.
I'll definitely publish this in newspaper.
Tomorrow the headline will be 'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY
FROM A DOG'."
The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here.
I am from US".
Reporter " OK.
Then the headline will be "US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM
A DOG".
Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen.
I'm a Pakistani national".
Next day, the headline in the paper read ....
Guess what …This is so gud
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TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG.
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept: Mr President, I
would like to express my condolences to
you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great
bldgs...
I would like to ensure that we had nothing in
connection with that........
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!
=======================================================================
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush
and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks
over and says,"Hello, what are you guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14
million Pakistanis and one " bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you
no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
=======================================================================
Pakistani on the moon:
Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem..
Q:What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?
A: ...... Problem Solved!!!!
=======================================================================
Once a train in Punjab got derailed and entered into
the paddy fields. There was a huge panic and cry all
over, but the train still kept moving into the fields.
After a while the train got back on the rail track and
stopped slowly. People got out of the train, with
relief.
Some went to the driver to thank him. The driver was a
Sardarji.
People asked "Papaji tussi bhot thanks jee.. we all
were almost dead. Good u brought back train on the
track, but what was the problem,
Why the train got derailed". Tho Papaji replied, "O
jee mention Nott, actually there was a man standing on
the track just in front; it was all because of him.
People wit hanger asked, to save that man u had almost
killed the entire passengers; instead u should have
let the man killed.
To this our sardarji replied "Oye jee that is what I
wanted to do, (saale ko maarna chahta tha) I wanted to
kill him,
But he ran into the fields, aur maine peecha kiya"
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
All The Bergs Are The Same
A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese man gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
The Chinese man, replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
This is one of my joke which i like..
Its all d drunken man makes a lot of jokes in the bar.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Conversation between George Bush and Condoleeza Rice
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China .
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China .
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you.
Who is the new leader of China ?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China .
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China .
Condi: Hu.
George: The main man in China !
Condi: Hu is leading China .
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China .
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China ?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you, or will you not, tell me
the name of the new leader of China ?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China ?
I thought he's dead in the Middle East .
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China ?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China ?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look Condi. I need to know
the name of the new leader of China .
Get me the Secretary General of
the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it,
I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China .
George: Will you stay out of China ?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East !
Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Indians should read this......................
An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....
Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.
Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)
Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...
Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)
Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever
seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your
God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Student: No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even
more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if
you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make
darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)
Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.
NB: I believe you have enjoyed the conversation...and if so...you'll probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same...won't you?....
this is a true story, and the student was none other than.........APJ Abdul Kalam, the present president of India.
Friday, June 6, 2008
The latest on Sardarjis....
Friend: What are you looking at?
Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: All right, what is my PIN no? if you saw it.
Beppo Singh: four asterisks!
-=-=-=-=-=-
BEPPO SINGH WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL.
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Beppo Singh: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Beppo Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've
just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
BEPPO SINGH'S MOTHER DIED.
Beppo Singh: (crying) the doctor called, my
mother is dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Beppo Singh cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Beppo Singh: my sister just called, her mother died too!
-=-=-=-=-=-
BEPPO SINGH NEEDS VITAMINS FOR GRANDSON.
Beppo Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Beppo Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't
Know the alphabet yet!!
=-=-=-=-=-
BEPPO SINGH STUCK ON THE ELEVATOR.
Lotta Singh: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs,
because of a power failure.
Beppo Singh: That's all right, me too...I got stuck on the escalator
for 3 hrs.
=-=-=-=-=-
Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh
searching high and low, all over the living room. She asked him: "What are
you so frantically searching?" Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa:"Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television
saying...'You are watching the Star World channel'?
"How can he know what I am watching?"
=================================================================
One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the
thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running in to his
office and shouted "Santa Singh your daughter Preeto just died in an
accident" Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office
window while coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he
didn't have a daughter named preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he
remembered he was not married. When he was about to hit the ground he
remembered his name is not Santa Singh.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
The Great Sardars jokes...
1.Lecturer : Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.
Sardar : Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam, I dont know who is Jayanti.
2. Sardar : You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: How ?
Sardar : YOu said this is American made radio. But when I put it ON, it says All India Radio.
3. Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
4. Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
5. On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
6. Doctor to patient : YOu will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die.
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
7. Two sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
8. Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.
9. Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
10. Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
11. Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part ?
Sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
12 . American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.
13. How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
A COINCIDENCE
Dear All,
It is really amazing.........
Did you know
that a flight number from one of the planes that
hit one of the two WTC towers on 9/11 was Q33N.
In Notepad / WordPad or MS Word, type in
that flight number i.e. Q33N. Increase the font
size to 72 , Change the font to Wingdings 1. You
will be amazed by the findings! It Itself tells
the story of destruction of twin tower and
pentagon!