How to kill a lion?

Rajnikanth method :

1. keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. the lion
will live in fear and die soon fear itself.

2.remove the make-up and put it over lion. the lion will die not
withstanding that heavy weight.

Kamal method:

1.gonear the lion and cry like anything ...lion will die of sorrow.

Manirathnam method:


1.make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark
room with a single candle lighted.
2.keep murmuring something in its ears. the lion will be highly
irritated and commit suicide.

Balachandar method:

1.send a lioness into the forest.our lion and lioness fall in love with
each other.
2.send another lioness in to the forest,followed by another lion.
3.first lion loves the first lioness and second lion loves the
second lioness,but 2nd lioness loves both the lions.
4.now send another lioness(3rd)into the forest.
5.you understand right.... ok ...read it

after 15 years,then also you wont!



Shankar method:

1.Take the lion to Australia or U.s.and kill it in a good scenic location.

Vijaykanth method:

* bring 5 more lions.fight with them and kill all of them except one.
* then advice some patriotism to the remaining one.
* this lion will surrender itself and then execute it.

Suggest your meathod of killing the lion.

Jokes

A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog.

When the dog is about to bite the woman, the man
intervenes and kicks the dog.

A reporter was seeing all this.

He said "That was great.

I'll definitely publish this in newspaper.

Tomorrow the headline will be 'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY
FROM A DOG'."



The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here.

I am from US".


Reporter " OK.

Then the headline will be "US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM
A DOG".

Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen.

I'm a Pakistani national".



Next day, the headline in the paper read ....

Guess what …This is so gud
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TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG.


Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept: Mr President, I
would like to express my condolences to

you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great
bldgs...

I would like to ensure that we had nothing in
connection with that........

Bush: What buildings? What people??


Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?


Bush: It's eight in the morning.


Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!
=======================================================================


Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush
and Vajpayee?"


The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks
over and says,"Hello, what are you guys doing?"


Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"


The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"


And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14
million Pakistanis and one " bicycle repairman."


And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"


Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you
no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"

=======================================================================


Pakistani on the moon:

Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem..

Q:What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?


A: ...... Problem Solved!!!!

=======================================================================

Once a train in Punjab got derailed and entered into
the paddy fields. There was a huge panic and cry all
over, but the train still kept moving into the fields.
After a while the train got back on the rail track and
stopped slowly. People got out of the train, with
relief.

Some went to the driver to thank him. The driver was a
Sardarji.
People asked "Papaji tussi bhot thanks jee.. we all
were almost dead. Good u brought back train on the
track, but what was the problem,
Why the train got derailed". Tho Papaji replied, "O
jee mention Nott, actually there was a man standing on
the track just in front; it was all because of him.
People wit hanger asked, to save that man u had almost
killed the entire passengers; instead u should have
let the man killed.

To this our sardarji replied "Oye jee that is what I
wanted to do, (saale ko maarna chahta tha) I wanted to
kill him,
But he ran into the fields, aur maine peecha kiya"

All The Bergs Are The Same

A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese man gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
The Chinese man, replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."


This is one of my joke which i like..
Its all d drunken man makes a lot of jokes in the bar.

Conversation between George Bush and Condoleeza Rice

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China .

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China .

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you.
Who is the new leader of China ?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China .

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China .

Condi: Hu.

George: The main man in China !

Condi: Hu is leading China .

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China .

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China ?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you, or will you not, tell me
the name of the new leader of China ?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China ?
I thought he's dead in the Middle East .

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China ?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China ?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look Condi. I need to know
the name of the new leader of China .
Get me the Secretary General of
the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it,
I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China .

George: Will you stay out of China ?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East !
Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.